We had an early Thanksgiving last Saturday and I got to spend some time with my twin six year old niece and nephew. My niece and I were playing with Legos. I always made a variety of cubes, so I thought the fact that she makes whatever is pictured on the box was impressive. “Hey, you’re really good at this!” I said. She replied, “I know!” like she was pretty impressed with herself, too.
It got me thinking of how we accept compliments as adults. Do we respond with an enthusiastic, “I know!”? Probably not. It seems like most of us do one of the following: 1-say genuine thank you (the normal healthy response, that we hardly ever use), 2- say thank you and find a way to compliment the other person right back, 3- diminish whatever the person is complimenting us on by saying it’s not as nice/complicated/whatever as the complimenter thinks, or 4- say thank you, wonder what their ulterior motive is and hide your wallet (just in case).
What happens between 6 years old and quasi-adulthood that makes it so hard to hear nice things about ourselves? Do we get a message that we have to dim our own light to fit in? I’m not saying we should all be walking around constantly impressed with ourselves like a bunch of megalomaniac sociopaths (why does that make lawyers spring to mind?), but so many of us downplay our accomplishments. Do we have our own bar set so high that we really don’t see our accomplishments as anything special? Or maybe we’re afraid the complimenter will see us as full of ourselves if we come across as too enthusiastic?
For whatever reason, I usually label friends and family who compliments me as, “just being nice.” That translates into, “sparing my feelings from the fact that this actually is awful.” There are occasions where I say thank you, but start to diminish whatever they are complimenting (“It wasn’t that complicated”). It’s something I need to work on.
As the holiday season gets rolling with Thanksgiving, maybe we should all practice tooting our own horn a little. When someone compliments our turkey making prowess or our jellied cranberry slicing skills, let’s give a hearty, “I KNOW!” like my niece- even if it’s just in our heads.
I got this great quote in my in-box yesterday and it fits here perfectly:
“I am convinced that one of the most helpful things we can do for people is to refuse to buy into their inappropriately restricted views of their limitations.” – Nathaniel Branden
Now about the vitamins. Recently, I’ve had a few questions about the fistful of vitamins I take because of my celiac disease, so I thought I would share the list. Part of celiac disease is the damage to the small intestine makes it hard for your body to absorb nutrients from food. I am no authority on celiac disease or vitamins or, anything really. This is the regimen that seems to work for me. Your milage may vary.
Nature’s Way Alive Multivitamin– Gigantic horse pills that taste like a lawn, but choke those bad boys down, because they work! They are made from actual food sources, not synthetic which means they are more readily absorbed into your system. Alive contains vitamins, minerals, digestive enzymes, amino acids, green foods, antioxidants, and a bunch of other big words that are good for you. I skipped the multi’s for a long time (stupid) and when I added them back in, my hair and eyelashes had this very noticeable growth spurt. So to me, that’s a great sign that I’m absorbing them and they are doing good things for my body.
B100’s– I’m probably getting everything I need from the Alive, but the B100’s really help with stress, so I take an extra every day.
Vitamin D (5,000 IUs)- I had my vitamin D levels checked a couple of years ago and they were super low. I take this one maybe 2-3 times each week.
Bio-Sil– Bio-Sil is a form of silica. I heard this was good for your hair, skin and nails and I started taking it. After a bottle, I didn’t think it was doing anything and didn’t buy it again. After about 10 days, my nails started breaking off and my hair started getting a ton of split ends. So, yeah, I trimmed my hair and bought another bottle.
Iron– It’s very common for CD people to be iron deficient. Even though we all need iron to live, it’s difficult to absorb and it’s like you have to trick it into your system. Vitamin C and the amino acid, lysine, help with absorption, so I take my iron with Emergen-C (I recommend Super Orange flavor), Super Lysine Plus (it has lysine, garlic, echinacea and other immune system boosters). It seem to work because I no longer look ghostly pale and am not faint. Did I never mention that I faint super easy? I’ve got all kinds of stories of fainting and nearly fainting at inopportune moments- including the lobby at my former job and at a movie theater buying Harry Potter tickets (don’t judge). The stories are only amusing to me because I can’t see what I look like while fainting. Have you ever seen anyone faint? It looks like they died! But potential employers and insurers take note that I am not fainty when taking my iron and, much like me, it’s not serious.
Just a reminder that you can follow me on Tumblr (it’s like here, but with a lot more Mad Men gifs) and Twitter (it’s like here only with a lot more Boardwalk Empire talk). Oh, I have a Behance page that no one ever looks at, but I get super excited on the rare occasion I get an appreciation.
Have a happy and safe Thanksgiving!